What's Going on Hear?

From my niece Julie Tapley (in case any SF marriages need help)

If your marriage were a movie or a novel, what would it be called?
(from your niece/aka couples counselor extraordinaire in SF)

Today's question for State of Marriage: When you were growing up, did you ever imagine that you would get married? If so, why? what were you hoping for? what did you imagine? If not, why not?

Can you remember how old you were when you first had these thoughts? is there a story that goes with it? Pls be as specific as possible.

Is my heart

more important than my pinky?

Ok, Joan. You are probably wondering what this has to do with marriage. From my Buddhist experiences I'm trying to understand the relationship between things. My heart and my pinky are both connected to me, as is my family. I am married to Linda, but we are married, which is many ways means one, and we are a family, which also means one. We are not separate.

Sometimes people see me as generous. If so, it is because I see all as connected to each other in this way.

Marriage is not a this for me and that for you arrangement. It is a single thing with hearts and pinkies.

Question of the day

Today's question: What was/is your parent's marriage like? How does this affect your perception of marriage as it might apply to you?

When we begin

So here we go again dialoguing with my old friend Kim Mosley across differences of gender, age, orientation, and now geography. Where once I could practically shout out to Kim because he was an artist and educator living in St. Louis, now I must imagine him hunched over his mac, drawing under the distant shadow of a cactus in Texas.

I thought of Kim when I wanted to start this latest collaborative project on the state of marriage. Kim is an ideal collaborator. First and foremost, because he honors and respects deadlines. If you ask Kim Mosley a question, you will get an answer. Even if it is not always the answer you expect or want.

I also think the process of making art is collaborative. Either with several parts of one's self that may be in conflict or just exploring. Or, if one has the good fortune to find a stimulating and responsible partner who can take your thinking to another level.

But, the biggest reason that Kim comes to mind when I think about marriage is that I have always found something to be iconic about his images. They look like primordial women and men to me, grounded in some essential identity. As marriage is both iconic and in a state of flux, I thought we could have great fun drawing, writing, and most likely arguing.

So why am I doing this project with Kim? It is part of a larger project on which I am working called "The State of Marriage". A performance piece I plan to put up in June as a co-production with the St. Louis Actor's Studio. This collaborative blog with Kim will help focus my monkey mind that always runs rampant when I start a new work.

I think marriage as we have historically known it is fracturing. An estimated 50% of marriages end in divorce. And yet people still get married.

Why?

And more and more LGBT people are clamoring to participate in this rite and change of status, despite the pessimistic statistics around its successful longevity.

Why?

I hope this blog will be a place where people can post their interests, concerns, experiences as well as articles, statistics, and even songs.

We need to make a performance, please help us find our way.

Is it inevitable?

It is inevitable that one is different than the other.
Horizon is always level.

The State of Marriage

Well, we both had parents who were (yours are) married a long time. Not many people had that experience.