Such a good question. Wonder if she means current or potential marriage.Never having been married altho i came close and backed away for many reasons, i have a hard time conceiving what a marriage with which i could live would look like.So i would have to say my (imaginary) marriage would be called Fantasia, after the groundbreaking Disney cartoonOr maybe i should call it Phantom-gasia??I was having a lovely email conversation w a dear friend and fellow (sister?) artist earlier today in ny who is long time married. We talked about the challenges of my my love life. How restless i get, how hard it is for me to commit and then stay committed. And yet, i do like having a primary connection outside myself and one that helps me to grow, as well as to give to another person in deeper ways.She said, you are very feminine and wifely but you have a strong independent and solitary streak. And she said she feels that same way.Fortunately for her, her husband doesn't seem to mind. She is frequently in her head or elsewhere.But i have yet to be deeply involved w someone who feels right for me for whom this has not been a problem.You are such a married man, Kim. Is this ever an issue for you?It has little to do with loving Linda and more about your own self and needs.Boy, am I getting personal here. Well, respond or not.But I kind of feel if we don't dig deep, what is the point of our excavation?
We mostly go our own ways most of the time. Even in the evening, I'm locked up in my room painting and she's in her room or in the living room. So I don't feel a threat to independence. In fact, I'm usually glad to see her when she's around (where is she now?).Some people kind of hang on. I don't know how marriage would work with them.So maybe the movie would be called where is she now? Eric Fromm spoke of "dual egoism" as a kind of loving that doesn't work, where the two egos merge and individuality ceases. Luckily we never did that. Even to the kids, we sometimes expressed different opinions about what they were doing... as my parents did. I suspect Linda's parents were more united.Oh... she's home now. I asked her what she'd call our marriage. She said, Dinner with Andre (Kim's favorite movie). I told her about this blog we are doing... she's even my Facebook friend... but she isn't interested in reading it (I would be if she was writing about our marriage).
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